sexonatable's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wished upon a star for a dad I guess he got lost Set up for yet another dissapointing morning ofcourse. Why not have a kid and promise them things and then not be there or never come through isint that just the thing to do doesn't that just make you parent of the year. Nope Probably not! My dad has done this stupid bullshit for the last time. No more wondering where are you daddy no more saying I love you dad and I will see you in a few hours that shits done. I am never going to trust him EVER again. It's over 19 all most 20 years of being his baby nope not no more. I am all grown up and sick of trying to fit his perfect image of the daught I hoped he always wanted. That's it I am not going to be his baby nor am I going to try and be his perfect angel any more. It's time to take a stand and say fuck it. He never cared never even looked twice and said I am proud of you. He only came when it was to his convinence and he could be proud of me. He wasn't there all the years watching me play my Viola at Orchestra Concerts, he wasn't there taking pictures before I went to prom. The only fucking thing he ever came to at Midland High or that had anything to do with School was my Graduation, and I cried because I was so amazed and I didn't think he would come. But those days are over now though it will hurt me a lot I do not think that he deserves the honor of walking me down the isle when I get married. I am not his to give away. There is no way that I am going to let him give me away to the man that I am going to be with for... *the rest of my life* It sounds good people! lol I am not his to give away. He has no say so in who I marry and the only thing I want him to do is sit next to my mom at my wedding after she gives me away. It's so sad to he had a million chances to be a good father.. It's not like I gave him three strikes and he was out. It was like I gave him 20 years and he has a million strikes against him. I tried I really wanted him to be a father I know hes a pot head and probably not the best person in the world but he was my dad and I wanted him to be there. I wanted him to help me grow up to praise my accomplishments but all he did was hurt me. I am 20 years old and I am sitting here crying because I want my daddy that's really sad that a person can do that to you. I am an adult now I should be moved on realizing that he's not going to ever change he's never going to be my dad like I wish he would. He's just going to keep fucking up as long as I let him do it he's going to do it. So I am done letting him fuck up I am not giving him any more chances to be a father it's done his father rights are denied.. Hell when my mom went to jail The Judge wouldn't give him custody of me and told him to sit down even she knew he wasn't a good dad. Though I was 8 and I am 20 now it took me this long to realize... I have no daddy.. I just have a man who gave birth to me and gave me this pitiful last name.. I have a man who I look like and who I am supposed to look up to but really... I look down too.. Thats not a dad... I don't know what a Dad is I guess. 2:40 p.m. - 2005-07-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||