sexonatable's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Will Someone please tell me why nobody loves me? Hello it's been a shitty day like all day. First of all I missed the bus. That really sucked so I had to make my mom get out of bed and take me to school. Then after Car Care I fell walking up the stairs that was fucking great.Then I almost fell down the damn stairs going to Geoscience. It sucked!! At least now I know why Huov. told me to keep my nose clean and my chin up this morning before school started.Grr... the whole day was absolutely terrible I'm glad it's over. WOO!! what a day. Last night at my orchestra concert everything went good until the last song I found out that I grabbed the wrong song. As we began to play with me looking at my neighbors music my shoulder pad fell off. To top it all off the song sucked we were horrible. My Huov. didn't go either but that was okay I thought he might not make it any way. Today sucked so bad. Nothing to be happy about not even love. I'm learning to deal with the fact that no GOOD!! man is ever going to love me. No man that I find to be acceptable to my standards which are not that high at all. All I want is a good man who isin't an alcoholic or a dope head. If at all possible doesn't smoke. Someone who is willing to love me and be committed to me. That's what I want. So why is that sooo hard to find all the men I actually consider spending a lifetime with are either alcoholics,dope heads, or only want sex. Now some men I could see just having a one night stand with. But I want a committed relationship. That's what I'm all about. I'll admit I love sex and I always will but I also love Love I want someone to love me. Not just the way that I fuck.(even though I'm good at that to.) That's all part of love. The search will continue on until I find someone who I feel is good for me come's along. It hasn't happened yet. Maybe that Biker from Oklahoma is going to be the one. I mean right now I'm looking at it as a fuck buddy a possible guy to have fun with. But maybe he's thinking of more.I wish!! He really seems like a nice guy online. But who knows what he'll be like in person. Maybe he'll kiss my hand drink wine with me under the moon light just before we make love for hours. Now maybe not that extreme but maybe the kissing hand part and making love. It's not even all about the sex any more I just want someone to love and someone to love me. Is that such an impossible thing.I NEEEDDDD LOVEE!! WHY DOESN'T SOMEBODY WANT TO LOVE ME AND ONLY ME!! I'M NOT UGLY SO WHYYYY!!!!! okay I feel better now. well I guess I better go enough whining to the public bye Not So sexy today 6:28 p.m. - 2002-02-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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