sexonatable's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Long Road ahead Diary...we have been together for such a long time. You know I love u..kiss kiss.... hehe...well..hmm...what to say...I am bored its like humid and gross outside I hate it. I am planning on calling Jerry at 2 but seriously why...Why do I deal with his shit? NO F'N clue... I honestly dont know... I decided last night that well I am going to go on a diet one way or the other... I have to do this I have to force myself into this theres no other way out. I want to some day find a wonderful man and live a happy normal life. Ofcourse after I get a degree and get rid of Joe hehe... But I feel in order to do that I should loose some weight. Hmm...what else today.. ... I dont really know..its the end of summer YUCK! It irritates me that we did like NOTHING this summer. I DIDNT EVEN GO TUBING!! I am so going before it gets to cold out. Next month I will be 24 EWWW... I dont want to be. Hell I dont even want to be 23. What am I going to look like when I'm an old lady? Who will take care of me if I have no one? Yea I know its a lil early to start thinking of these things but seriously... its something I think about. If I continue on the path I have been on for years I will be with a way older guy. He will die long before I get old. I will have no children and my friends will either all be old with me or die first. So I will be alone I will have no one. So what will happen to me. Seriously it scares the shit out of me. I dont want to be old alone I atleast want a child or someone around my age that I can get old with. I want someone to be around to inherit all of my cool stuff. Other wise what will happen to it? I really want a kid. I know I know I said before I dont want a child I'm to selfish. Well...they are starting to grow on me. I really want a kid... I am getting older and I feel like Im getting more and more ready to be a mom. I know thats odd coming from Rebel Sammi CRAZY GIRL!!! But its something that I have been thinking about and every time I see kids I just get all...gooey and I just want one. I hope that when I am ready to either have one or adopt one that I can be a wonderful mom which I think I will be. I'm always singing and dancing and being goofy even with my dogs I sing songs to them and dance with them so I think I could be a fun mom! I love how my life is starting to come together I am starting to want things and look ahead at where I want my life to go. I dont know this girl...but I am hoping to learn more about her and see where her future goes 12:14 p.m. - 2009-08-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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