sexonatable's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Spirals of a Modern Screw A screw spirals downwarnd when it get's screwed into a wall.. the spirals are clearly there and you can see them but does anyone think of where it goes.. How it feels about being stuck into a fucking wall? My life is much like a screw I spiral downward into dark depression. My spirals are not there they happen when things happen to me. When my mind wanders to much when I think thing's I know are not true. Sometimes I think life is this big game that I am failing at. Anger problem... yes I do I get very angry with myself the one I love and also his significant other does he know this no. Does he know I am really depressed. He wouldn't he spends to much time telling me how much he has to work and how I am going to fuck things up with my mindless and evil tricks. Do I want to tell him everything just let him come over and cry into his lap and tell him how some times I hate him and how I hate his wife because she exists, and how I hate everything all because I am angry inside. Yes I want to tell him this but he can not find the time to stop over even if only for a half an hour so I can pour my heart out to him. He does not spend the time that is needed with his psychotic prolly bi-polar girlfriend. I want to talk to Tina because I think something.. and I want to ask her about it. It's not bad or anything I am just concerned about my well being. I don't want to hurt myself but I feel like I want to.. I want to be mean to myself but I shouldn't and I know it. I WONT!!! Don't jump to conclusions any one. I am just depressed in another hour the old man is going to come over so I can talk to him and then I should feel better and I am not going to be alone all day or all night so I am sure things will improve. The screw will come out of the wall. But for now it will remain stuck in the wall begging and pleaing to come out. 5:05 p.m. - 2005-04-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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